


the crown is heavy on my shoulders

by artemiswords



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Coronation, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Season/Series 03, it's glimmer and angella sad hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 14:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20098618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemiswords/pseuds/artemiswords
Summary: ***** season 3 spoilers****Glimmer never thought much about becoming Queen. After all, her mother isーHer mother was an immortal being. Immortal beings aren’t supposed to die.She sits on a big chair, on the balcony of one of the rooms of the side of the castle of Bright Moon. In front of her on the ledge is a black pillow, with a shiny white gold crown resting on top of it. The people of the kingdom crowds below, on the open field besides the castle. A low chatter echoes, but today has been quiet.





	the crown is heavy on my shoulders

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [La corona pesa sobre mis hombros](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20140858) by [LightDark01](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightDark01/pseuds/LightDark01)

> hello im sad so i wrote sad words

Glimmer never thought much about becoming Queen. After all, her mother isー

Her mother was an immortal being. Immortal beings aren’t supposed to die.

She sits on a big chair, on the balcony of one of the rooms of the side of the castle of Bright Moon. In front of her on the ledge is a black pillow, with a shiny white gold crown resting on top of it. The people of the kingdom crowds below, on the open field besides the castle. A low chatter echoes, but today has been quiet. 

Bright Moon is always loud, colorful and moving. Not today, though, or these past few days. It is gloomy, quiet and the air feels heavy and hard to breath in. Not even the birds sang that day. The kingdom mourns together.

Her mother never really wore the crown, as it has always been used more for special occasions. Like weddings, important holiday parties, and, of course, coronation ceremonies. The color of the crown matches those earrings that Angella never took off her ears. She always said she would give them to Glimmer one day, once she was older and, in her words, more careful with her belongings. They are gone now, though.

Someone suggested she only did a small ceremony in the throne room, but that would mean she would have to sit on the throne. Her mother’s throne. It wouldn’t feel right, then, it didn’t feel like hers yet.

Glimmer focuses on the crowd again. It hasn’t grown since she last noticed its size, everyone is probably already there. It is time for her to proceed.

Except, it shouldn’t be Glimmer’s time.

Glimmer was supposed to be only the Commander of Bright Moon. As long as the war raged on, and after, to ensure peace. She was supposed to be a leader, yes, but of the Rebellion, not of an entire kingdom. 

Maybe when she grew older and wiser, and her mother grew tired of being Queen, she would pass the crown to her. Then when Glimmer became too old to rule, she’d also pass the crown to her son or daughter. She wouldn’t wait until she died to make her child become the ruler. Mostly because she’d also like to guide them how her mother would’ve, _ should’ve, _ done, and see them become greater than her, like her mother said Glimmer would be one day. After she passed, Angella would continue on guiding them and all the future rulers of Bright Moon. That’s how it was supposed to be. Glimmer never thought she would have to live without her, that she’d lose her.

People say a mother should never have to mourn their child, but Angella lived with the thought that one day she would have to. Maybe that is why she was so protective of her.

But why is it fair that a child should mourn their mother?

Especially when that child already had to mourn their father?

Glimmer had imagined it sometimes. An Etheria immersed in peace, the Horde long gone. A big party for the coronation, all the princesses and her friends would be there, celebrating with her. All the people of Bright Moon would watch and cheer as Queen Angella gave one of her amazing speeches and took her crown off to put it on Glimmer’s head. 

She should be there for this big day. Telling Glimmer what she can’t do, as she always did. They’d probably argue about what Glimmer should say, or even wear, but they would eventually come to an agreement. Glimmer would joke how she could order Angella around now, and pull the queen card just as she did. Then Angella would joke back something like _ I’m still your mother, Glimmer, and I will not hesitate to ground you if I need to. _Glimmer can hear her voice loud and clear.

She should be there. Telling great stories of her father, saying how he should be there too, and how proud he’d be of Glimmer. She barely remembers him, she was so little when he passed, when the Horde took him from them. She has some flashes of memories. Pretty shiny drawings he’d make appear in the air in front of her. Strong, warm arms that would hold her when she cried. Not much else, not even his voice.

What if she forgets Angella’s voice too? Or the way her wings feel like home when they wrap around Glimmer when they hug? Or how delicate and soft her fingers feel when they caress Glimmer’s face? Or the way she spoke firmly with people, but soft with her when they were alone and not arguing? Or the way she always kept her chin raised, even though she was taller than everyone else?

Glimmer closes her eyes. 

She tries to think of the weird memories from a few days ago. A supposedly perfect universe, that felt off, even though she had everything she wishes she had right now. Her mom and dad together with her and no Horde causing anyone any suffering. She wonders if that's how her father would actually look like today. If that's how his voice would actually sound like. She thinks about how happy she was for what felt like maybe a minute, before it was taken away from her. But none of that was real. 

Glimmer will avenge them. She has to. The Horde has always been a constant in her family’s life. First it took her father, before she could even understand what the war meant. Then it gave her that false moment with her family back, only to take it away from her again. It gave her false memories that she will now miss and grief as if they had actually happened. Then it took her mother. 

Glimmer will avenge her parents and make sure the Horde can never hurt anyone again. She will destroy the Horde, including Catra if she has to, even if it costs her own life. 

She opens her eyes.

Her mother should be there. Guiding her, giving her advice on how to be a good queen, loved by all of Bright Moon, respected by all the other kingdoms. What do the people even think of Glimmer? A spoiled little princess who only knows how to sparkle and can't even be a good commander? Who can't stop a war even when she has a legendary warrior on her side? Who can't even save her own mother? 

Adora says Angella saved her and everyone else. It was Adora who almost sacrificed herself to bring their reality back, but Angella was brave enough to go in her place.

Glimmer wishes her last words with her mother were not in an argument. She wishes they had shared one last hug, a hug that meant _ I love you, _ a hug that meant _ I trust you but please be careful, please don't get hurt, please don't leave me. Pleaseー _

A deep breath. 

She is not going to cry during this, her mother wouldn't. She can leave the tears for the silence of the night. A silence that she now realizes will never be filled again by Angella's delicate footsteps, or the soft knock on her door when she'd ask if they could talk for a bit. She can leave the tears for the loneliness of the night. When it is only Glimmer and her thoughts and a heavy loneliness that surrounds her in a cold embrace and almost consumes her entirely.

Glimmer wishes she hadn’t told her mother how she was paralyzed by fear, because she's the bravest woman Glimmer knows. She kept her head high even after her king died, even though she carried the guilt of sending him to his death. She raised Glimmer and ruled a kingdom alone. Glimmer wishes she hadn't told her mother that, because that’s how she feels right now. A whole kingdom waits for her command. How is she supposed to lead a kingdom when she can barely lead a small group of princesses? How is she supposed to do all of this alone?

Glimmer takes another deep breath, there is no point in making everyone wait any longer. She finally gets up and walks to the ledge of the balcony. The crowd that was almost quiet now falls into a heavy silence. Everyone watches, waits.

She raises her chin, takes the crown from the pillow and puts it on top of her head.

It feels heavy. 

On her head and on her shoulders. 

She spots her aunt Castaspella, next to Bow and Adora, and the Princess Alliance behind them. Maybe she won’t be completely alone.

“My mother’s final wish,” Glimmer says, trying to keep her voice loud and strong, “Was for us to take care of each other. I can only hope and strive to take care of Bight Moon as well as she did.”

Glimmer just wishes her mother was still there, so that the two of them could still take care of each other too.

**Author's Note:**

> come be sad with me pls, you can find me on tumblr/twitter @artemisbye


End file.
